sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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