so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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