Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
