need another drink. this is the easiest way
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
