PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
