in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
