And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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