Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize