"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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