Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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