That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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