Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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