And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
