The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
