Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
