i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
