Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
