I'm passing your future prison.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
