you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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