We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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