wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
