im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
