discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
