you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
