Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
