Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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