1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize