I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
