They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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