His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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