So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
