there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
