so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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