his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
