Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
