If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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