You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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