You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
