Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
