he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
