I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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