loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize