Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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