Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude i'm inner monologue high
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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