just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize