I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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