I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
