Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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