I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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