You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
