well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
