You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
