he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
