and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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