We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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