What a fucking waste of an outfit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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