dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
