I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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