i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize