last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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