"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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